Today, I woke up, checked my FB and it left me shocked.
Many left small notes in my friend’s FB wall, “deep condolences for you and your family…”
I did not know what has happened that point of time, so I asked a friend of mine who also left note there. “Her father passed away,” he typed.
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What?
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How come?
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I’ve been quite close with this friend although not so. She was once my senior, my friend in choir and she is still one friend in my life, a person I’ve adored. Someone who has great personality, great academic result, great bunch of friends, great life I would say.
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Suddenly, tears just rolled down from both eyes. Wash off my face. I did not know what has happened inside my brain, why did I cry? I did not even know who her father is…
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But still, I cried and could not stop thinking. What situation could she be at now… It’s just few hours ago. :’( I really do no know what I could do to ease her, so I only left a small note in her wall as what others did.
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It has set me thinking. What if we were at her situation? I always focus too much on my self.

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Many of us, probably every single of us, have always rant, whine, said the world is unfair to us, blamed once your loved one who left us behind, swear the sticky situation we are at. Every day, every single minute, every moment….
Never once I stop and think. What is the reason behind those complaints?
I only rant whenever I feel life is so bad. I never thank those who give me laugh and cry.
I remembered one’s wrongdoing to me, never had I appreciate once their little help.
I had this bad temper to scold people whenever I felt like.
I felt I am the one who had the severest problem in this world that no one could ever understand me.
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Have I ever once think that life is just too short to whine about?
So pathetic, that I whine about my stressful study, my future career, my stupid hi-bye friends. Isn’t there something else that is great enough for me to whine about?
Have I ever once feel grateful to the existence of people in my life? whether they are here for years, a day, or just pass by a second?
For all the happiness, lessons, accompaniment, love I’ve received till today.
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Have you ever contemplate of what’s the most important thing in your life that you want to protect?
Your grade, your money, your job, your hand, your hair, your mp3, your girlfriend or boyfriend..?
Have you ever find the one thing you want to do more often every day?
Is it playing soccer, hanging out with your gang, singing your fav song, studying for your quiz or watch your favs movie?
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My answers is straight “NO”.
I’ve never once really think about it until today. That moment, few seconds in that few hours ago before I blog this post.
This life of mine is this once and only. I always attempt to find the purpose of my life.
But, in the end, I’ve wasted too much time to try to find nothing.
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“Life is like this long long road.
At first it looks smooth and straight..
Some walk, some run towards it.
Hope to find the end of this road.
They imagine there’s something they always want to have
when they reach the end.
Along the road there are too many.
Too many bumps, some small, some high.
It shakes your self, and your principle.
When you can’t hold on to your faith,
you fall down and give up in the middle of the road.

But, when everyone is chasing after another to reach that end.
Have they ever realised, that the end might not be that far?
Have they ever realised there could be some signs along this road?
Something else beside the road, a stop that they might want to choose to halt.
Or…
Have they ever realised that there could be another path apart from this straight road?
there’ll be signs along the road that you could choose to change your direction.
But do they open their eyes to look at those signs and make decisions?
I believe,
What is at the end of the road is not important.
But how you live towards the end that count.
Whether you stop several times to think of what you can do afterwards.
Whether you stop and meet enough people to lead you wise.
Whether you stop and see the signs God have given to us.
To live is to love. To live is to care. To live is to be grateful.”
I know that I live my life as a student in NTU, as a daughter of my parents, as a friend of yours, only in this life. Not next life. And believe it or not, it is short. Too short sometimes.
So, why do I want to cry about small little bumps in my life? that my laptop was spoilt, my fyp does not show progression, etc…
Why do I want to feel angry because I can’t find what I want to do after my graduation? Why do I want to swear those people who don’t see me as I am?
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No, I want to stop doing that. I want to start believing I could not live this life without paying attention to others. How others live their lives.
I want to stop thinking that material success is what this life all about. I want to live this life as who I am not who they see me as. I want to always love and care about my family, help my friends more, be someone who I want to be. I do not want to lose myself when life is too tough that it shaped me to be someone else, egoist, ignorant, hermit.
It is not a promise that I can broke. It is a principle I want to stick on to. It is a guide that I will live my life.
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Hence, I will leave you with this big question.
Have you do things that lead you to live this only and only life as what you want it to be? Do you see the signs?
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rhynchan
off.
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